3 Ways You Could Be Over-Nurturing Your Trauma

Trauma is an inherent part of the human experience and it affects every one of us to one degree or another. We’ve all endured pain, hurt and mistreatment on some level, we wouldn’t be living on earth if we hadn’t! But the way we choose to respond to trauma can significantly impact our wellbeing and personal growth. 

How we deal with our trauma sets the tone for our overall well being and future experiences. If we find ourselves giving it all our energy, we could be over-nurturing it in one of these ways: 

The Badge of Honour: Identity and Pain
Some of us wear our trauma as a badge of honour, where our entire identity is centred around pain and suffering. Perhaps we find solace in this approach, but it can also lead to stagnation pretty quickly and ultimately hinder our personal growth.

The Abyss of Depression: Escaping Engagement
For some, trauma can trigger deep depression and anxiety, causing us to withdraw from fully engaging with life. The continuous loop of past stories, pain, and negative emotions may consume our thoughts and control our actions. This disengagement perpetuates the cycle of suffering and prevents us from experiencing true healing and growth.

The Shield of Protection: Shutting Off from the World
Another response to trauma involves building emotional barriers and shutting oneself off from the world. We use our trauma as a protective shield and we harden ourselves against the world and everyone in it. While it may provide temporary ‘protection’, this self-imposed isolation limits personal connections and the development of meaningful relationships.

Relating to trauma in any of these ways is quite common, but if we nurture our past stories too much, and allow our pain and emotions to loop continuously in our minds, they end up controlling us.

And we are much more than our story of suffering. 

Rather than shut ourselves off from the world in depression, anger or avoidance, we can acknowledge our emotions, feel what has emerged, then let it pass. 

And it always passes. 

When we honour our trauma, without falling victim to it and letting it dominate our lives, we’ll recognise that we’re so much stronger than we were ever led to believe. And it’s through this process that genuine healing can take place.

When we have this connection and this knowing, we’ll never concede our sovereignty or individuality again.